Humorous Definitions

hammerdoc · Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 6:04 pm Post subject: Humorous Definitions

Catch and Release - A conservation motion that happens most often right before the local Fish and Game officer pulls over a boat that has caught over it's limit.

Hook - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his life savings on a new rod and reel. (3) The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings (see also, Right Hook, Left Hook).

Line - Something you give your coworkers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend.

Lure - An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.

Reel - A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.

Rod - An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.

School - A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your $29.99 lures and hold out for spam instead.

Tackle - What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard.

Tackle Box - A box shaped alarmingly like your comprehensive first aid kit. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get a Band Aid, you soon find that you need more than one.

Test - (1) The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range. (2) A measure of your creativity in blaming that darn line for once again losing the fish.

hammerdoc · Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 5:20 pm Post subject:

Boat: A hole in the water, into which vast sums of money are poured.

Corollary:
Two Happiest Days in a Boat Owner's Life: 1) The day he buys it, and 2) The day he sells it.

hammerdoc · Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2009 5:25 pm Post subject:

Decimal Point: A period, often contained within an object's price, that is moved to the right if that object is to be used on a boat.

mlsims · Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 12:11 pm Post subject:

Great Post!! I totally agree with you on the definition of Boat. I think thats mine your talking about.